I Need a New Job

Well, I haven't heard from my dream job, so maybe it's time to give up on that.

I don't really know what to do. I know that I can't handle my job. It makes me a stressed out mess, I just can't live like this.

But I don't want to go back to the spreadsheets, you know, what I actually went to school for. I would rather -- well, I don't know -- I'd rather stay at this job than go back there.

I don't know what to do. The market still seems pretty lousy. I could get something close to my old job, but I just don't want it. This is my what color is your parachute moment. Ugh.

A Fidelity Rant

I've never had anything but praise for Fidelity, but that changed this month... I'm really frustrated with Fidelity. So much so that I am thinking about checking out a competitor.

I first got a Fidelity account because my old job's 401(k) was through Fidelity. That's long gone. Now I have my Fidelity account for all of liquid cash, except a couple hundred in the local credit union. I have a money market account and a "MySmartCash" account that is like a checking account that "overdrafts" from the money market/brokerage.

This worked fine when I had a down payment sitting in the money market. I paid the bills, they drafted from brokerage. Done.

The problem came last month... We had low cash balance, and I was buying and selling stocks. Transfers from the business acccount take time to clear (3 days according to one rep, 4 by another). When you sell stock, it takes time to clear. I have no idea how long. Neither does Fidelity, I guess.

So, it looks like I have the money, but I can't use it. I have now had Fidelity bounce two bill payments. Yea, that's right. Instead of just not sending the money to the credit card, they send it, and then they pull it back. WHAT?!? Then they charge me, AND the credit card company charged me.

Nobody at Fidelity has any idea why this happened, and neither do I. But if I can't figure out how much of my money I can actually spend, then I can't keep using this. Or, maybe we just actually need a cash buffer so I don't have to worry about how long it takes to clear.

Selling Primerica

I finally got pitched by a Primerica agent, y'all! What a great homeowner's joy! The brochures were in Spanish and everything and everyone was smiling in Primerica land. Apparently, this is the new, hip thing in the emerging "Latin market" or something.

If I remember right, Dave Ramsey hates Primerica and the other multi-levels, and, well, I don't buy anything that I don't understand. I love it that when you try to search for Primerica, it tries to suggest the words "scam" and "ripoff." Awesome.

I was amazed at how much time somebody's cousin's friend spent selling this to me. I was even more amazed you can spend 30 minutes selling something and manage to say absolutely nothing of substance about it, you know, like what it actually does. I think his head pretty much exploded when I told him I have a 15-year mortgage. The other questions (they are nosy!) I just lied about. This is his full-time job, so I guess those must be fat commissions. And they must really be targeting Spanish speakers, he had stickers all over his car and everything.

I sat through the whole, painful 30 minute pitch for all y'all, and I learned nothing except that I must not love my family since I didn't sign up for whatever 40-year mortgage/life insurance hybrid he had up his sleeve. I don't even know if this is a debt CONsolidation or some kind of lousy insurance product. I do know I'm not buying. You know it's bad when Bank of America is the lesser of two evils.

Net Worth: August 2010

Net worth August 2010, $216K (+7K, 3%).

For 2010, +15K, 8%.

Boy am I glad I waited that one day for the market to rebound!

Highlights:

* Invested 8,300 in taxable stock, and sold $2,300, that leaves about $500 in market loss in the taxable

* Market down 1K in retirement.

* Not much progress on the car loan. Oops. Oh, well, just need a better month!

* Boy, was this an EXPENSIVE month. Ouch. Life insurance, tons of stuff, business expenses. Ouch.

Good to still be up in a month like this!

Undercover Engagement Ring

Ooh boy, a post about engagement rings! One of my favorite topics! One of LAL's friends wants to sell her really expensive engagement ring, but, of course, it's not worth as much anymore. This leads to the obvious corollary: why don't women just buy used rings? And why do we buy these stupidly expensive rings anyway?

Oh, and then there's my secret. I bought a new ring, y'all.

I don't believe in diamonds, and my engagement ring is a lab gemstone with a gold setting made out of family gold. Usually, though, I just wear a band.

This is Texas, and if you're rich, you need a rock. When encountering women like that, the band makes people uncomfortable. You're either poor (yuck!) or you don't share our flashiness values, which makes you preachy and annoying. It has taken me a year to figure out that my band is just not appropriate when I am trying to fit in with these women.

So, I needed a rock. I thought about a big gemstone, but I am just trying to fit in here, not engage a blood diamond discussion. So, I did the next best thing. I bought a canary CZ ring. It wasn't cheap ($300), but it sure looks real, and smaller yellow diamonds are easily tens of thousands of dollars so the CZ works, especially with a gold setting. I really love this ring. Maybe the "real" one would be slightly nicer, but not 30K nicer.

But I only wear it when I know there will be a Bentley at the party, because for parties like that you need a rock. I would say I am a pretty flashy person, but not when it comes to diamonds, so a band suits me just fine mostly.

Donating to Your Women's Shelter

Your town has one too, a women's shelter for when there is nowhere else to go. These shelters always need personal care products. Shampoo, deodorant, maybe some perfume. Our shelter even takes those half-full bottles of perfume you will never use, and they are like gold to these women. Underwear, makeup, these are things that they left behind for their own safety.

When women (usually with children) arrive at the shelter, they have either been totally cut off from their families, or they fear for their family's safety if they stay somewhere else. They are truly all alone. Nobody wants to stay there, it's the only choice.

If you want an easy way to make a big bang in a really difficult time, donate some personal care items to your women's shelter. If you coupon, that deodorant and shampoo and eyeliner is like gold, and it means dignity for these women. There is nothing wrong with everyone sharing bottles, and sometimes they do. But isn't it more human, more dignified, to just give the family a new bottle of Suave? Especially when they have been through so much.

No Ads

Dear Aggressive & Rude Advertisers:

I don't take ads. It's on the front page of my site. Perhaps you should read sites you want to associate with.

If I did take ads, they wouldn't be yours.

-Dog

A Job Posting, Hope

A job came up in a humane branch of my old field. This is exactly the kind of thing I hoped would happen but really did nothing to help along. I haven't been very proactive about finding a new job, and the posting kind of fell in my lap.

To be honest, it might be just a teensy bit out of my league, but not by much. It's certainly worth a shot. It would be more money, better benefits, and a slightly better commute. Oh, and not working with battered women anymore.

I could use some good vibes. Dog needs a new job!

Thoughts on Pre-Nuptial Agreements

Ponder, if you will, this post. Family Money Guy in his 20s has 1.2M and asks whether he needs a pre-nup. (Ignore the obvious problems that he hadn't even told her about the money and is asking the internet whether he needs a pre-nup!)

Ponder, if you will, the responses. Go ahead, I'll wait. Either. Or. Nothing in between. Fascinating. I think they reflect what we view marriage to be. Dave Ramsey says that marriage isn't a joint venture, but many people do live that way. And, hey, if there are blended families and family money, maybe there is more going on and there is good reason.

If you had asked me as a swinging single feminist in an elite grad school whether I would sign a pre-nup, I would have said sure, no problem. It's just a contract about money, it doesn't reflect on our feelings. Some legalistic thing doesn't define my marriage. And plenty of my classmates who married into serious money did that. Heck, if I hadn't been so pressed for time before my own wedding, I might have looked into Suze's pre-nup she pitches in every single book.

But now I think that pre-nup comes at too great a cost, unless you really have exceptional finances, and 1.2M isn't doing it. The whole point of marriage, the whole point of getting married, is the nuptial agreement. The agreement DOES define your marriage. That's why you make vows in front of all those people. I can't say I pledge myself to you expect my money. That's not marriage to me.

I wouldn't say we are very religious people, but I understand this now. Marriage is more than a joint venture contract with a separation clause. If you can't really offer everything you have up, then you shouldn't get married. Why bother if you aren't truly going to merge? Why do you need a nuptial contract if you're just going to whittle it away with a pre-nup? Why not just make a sexual fidelity contract until you decide not to? Isn't that easier? OK, maybe if you're Tiger Woods or need benefits or are a Vanderbilt or you really have a blended family situation you need to. But not most, and you're no Tiger, buddy.

I think of how my own marriage would have been undermined by my own greedy, Suze-inspired pre-nup. After all, back when we got married, I was going to be the big earner. I was Tiger! HA! Today, Senor has a business that is ours (community property state) and that we made with our own skills and talents.

Plenty of people approach marriage as a joint venture, and I think maybe even I did before I got married. This is one of the only financial things that I have truly seen shift, no, totally change since being married. That isn't the kind of marriage I want at all, and I am so glad I didn't just blindly follow Suze's advice and stumble into one.

Where is the Money Going?

I hate months like this. I just throw my hands and I'm confused. It's like I wasn't there, or something. This round of credit card bills is just blowing my mind. 5K here, 6K there, 9K on the business. I think I feel sick.

We took a little vacation at the end of July, we paid for part of our winter trip to Miami for a wedding. We threw a party for a client. A really, seriously expensive party. Senor bought more TV equipment. And then the boring, mandatory part. We bought some equipment, we spent a few hundred on the house. We spent $2500 on life insurance. In the business, we got a little more freelancers for a project that we won't get paid on for months. AAAHHH!

I am very close to being able to cash-flow 20K of expenses in one month. Whoa. But with that kind of outlay, we'll never be moving in the right direction. We've got to get it under control. This is the first month in a long time I've been worried about paying the credit card bills.

Not a good feeling.