I have been roped into being a bridesmaid in early June. This kills all my plans. You will notice that this wedding, uh, doesn't have much notice.
First, this means I will have to buy a $275 "rich chocolate" hideous dress when I am not buying clothes. (Mrs. Micah just posted on this!) BOOOO, I could get something fantastic for that much money. Heck, I could fly somewhere fantastic.
Second, I will have to pay for the bachelorette party/bridal shower/kitchen gadgets shower/home repair shower/chick flick shower. Weddings are out of control.
Last time I was a bridesmaid, it was for a dear friend out of state. The red, hideous dress with matching fishnets was $200 (bargain!), I flew out twice ($500), two nights in a hotel ($200), and I paid for my share of the shower ($200) and bachelorette party ($50), and I gave a gift ($100). The bachelorette party was almost free because guys bought drinks all night, as it should be. The damage was $1250. I have not worn the dress, I'm not even sure where it is. But that was for a dear friend, and I would do it again.
As for this wedding, well, there has to be a better way. Brides flip out if you decline. Maybe I can just try to keep the parties under control. Brides: it is not an "honor" to buy a $275 dress so that your special day is perfect. It actually kind of sucks.
Monday, February 4, 2008
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8 comments:
I don't understand how brides can come up with ugly dresses with all the beautiful J.Crew tea dresses available.
For $275, you should be able to get a tasteful sheath or cocktail dress that you can wear again and again.
It's too late for this wedding, but maybe you can bring it up at the next one?
I've refused a couple of bridesmaid gigs because of finances. I've been a bridesmaid 5 times. Even for in-town weddings with bridesmaid dresses under $100, I've never spent less than $500, when all was said and spent. Sorry about the expensive dress; that's about $25 more than my most expensive (now donated to Goodwill for maybe a $20 tax deduction). The book "Bridal Bargains" by Denise & Alan Fields thoroughly discusses the bridesmaid dress racket.
I let my bridesmaids pick the dress. They still probably never worse the dress again. I just selected the color.
I have no idea what it cost since they picked it out. I said cool. But I only had a maid of honor and bridesmaid. Simple wedding.
I thought the bride was supposed to buy the bridesmaids dresses. I guess I will remember to never volunteer to be a bridesmaid, or in my case, maid of honor. My hubby and I got married by a judge, and while I did wear a dress, we did not have the madness and expense that comes with a big wedding. Would the bride consider less expensive dresses, or maybe renting the dresses?
No, brides do not buy the bridesmaids dresses for you normally. My mother did buy one of my bridesmaids dresses to help her offset costs- but this was proactive on our part because we are so close, she didn't ask. My bridesmaids designed and sewed their own dresses. Although they may never wear again they were very special. And becasue we were all in college it was a simpler wedding with no parties or expenses for the maids. My parents paid for our suite the night before and my Aunts hosted an "All women in town" tea party the day before the wedding.
More brides should be considerate. I am so glad I was.
As for never wearing the dress again- consider giving it to the bride so she will have one to remember. Just a thought.
So are you not going to have any bridesmaids at your upcoming wedding? Or is it alright to complain about having to spend so much to be in a friends wedding but then fine to ask them to do the same for you?
@anon--
I already bought my maids' dresses.
I am so in agreement on the buying their own dress thing. That's why I paid for my maid of honor's dress. Of course, I also let her pick it out so it would be a dress she wanted to wear again.
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