Following up on some other posts about engagement rings, I want to talk about mine.
Women care a lot about diamonds. They know whatever the "C"s are which correlate quality in the diamond, and thus the worth of the woman. I've seen, constantly, women sizing each other's rings up, just like handbags and other such status symbols.
I hate everything about diamonds. Even if they were produced ethically (which very, very few are), I would still hate the ads and the judginess and the expectations and the colossal waste of money. I hate the "guides" in the bridal magazines. I hate the ads in the New York Times. I hate it all. I thought about diamond substitutes. They're actually not bad. But that wasn't good enough---I needed out of this whole mess.
My ring is a gemstone. It's even one of the cheaper gemstones. The whole thing cost a little over 2K, and that's because we tracked down the nicest and biggest (lab) stone we could find and had our grandparents' rings melted down to make it and bands in the future. Today, you can get all kinds of FANTASTIC gemstones for very little, and I think they're gorgeous and have much more character.
Reactions have been, well, interesting. I got everything from "Couldn't you afford a diamond?" (a dirt poor family friend) to "I always loved that color!" to "That is so creative!" (my boss's boss's wife). The best reactions have actually been from women wearing 50K rings. They, I think, are the most impressed that I just bucked the whole system and did what I wanted. I wonder why women who wear around 50K in diamonds do it.
19 comments:
I could not agree more. Diamonds are an over priced and overhyped product that many men feel almost compelled to waste a ridiculous amount of money on. Congratulations on being different.
Diamonds aren't even that pretty. They're so bland.
I agree with you.
But to me, the whole idea of an engagement ring is disgusting. The history behind engagement rings is that the man places his "claim" on the woman after making a dowry deal with the woman's father. ...
I'm not for sale, nor am I property to claim.
Even if a man were to have the intention of giving the ring as a gift (out of love), I'm still unsure about it.
Why couldn't we save that money and use it to build our lives together instead of buying some pointless piece of jewelry which will be obsolete when we get married anyway???
Why do I get a nice ring and he doesn't?
I've dated a millionaire in the past and let me say that gifts don't mean shit. He didn't stick around, but his diamond earrings, rings, and charms did. Now I don't even want to wear them because I feel like he used them to "buy" me when we were together. It's disgusting.
An engagement ring, like a wedding ring, is a symbol of love and committment not a status symbol. I value my 1/3 carat diamon engagement ring and slim integrated yellow gold wedding ring more today than when my husband gave it to me 30 years ago. I don't care what kind or size of rings other women are wearing, nor do I care what their opinion of my ring is. That's only important if you care what others think.
$2,000 is still a lot of money to spend on a ring. The criteria for buying a ring is do you love it, and will you love it as much in 25 or 50 years as you do today. For various reasons, my sisters-in-law are upgrading their rings to bigger rings with more diamonds. Although I like jewelry, I would never dream of doing such a thing. A new ring wouldn't have the meaning and memories that my ring have.
Barb1954
I love my ring and I didn't spend $2k on it and it's a diamond. The only thing that matters is what you prefer/like. And it's still nobody's business but yours what you spend on it! If you can afford it then that's all that matters.
So to those who like big bling, well good for them if they can afford it and like it.
My engagement ring is a Tanzanite and CZ chip ring. It cost $80 and is beautiful. I admit that there have been moments where I look at other women's rings, but it mainly because I'm obsessed with all things wedding.
I don't compare my ring, because no one's relationship can be compared to mine.
I don't like real diamonds, but if other women want them, for whatever reason, be it tradition or status symbol; so be it, I don't have to wear them, or even look.
I never thought diamonds were very pretty. To me, it's glorified glass. Diamonds come from coal too, so it doesn't have a very attractive predecessor, so to speak. I've always wanted his birthstone as my ring, and mine as his. I hope it happens some day...marriage means more than a ring, though. Good for you for being so creative, although that $2K could probably have gone towards a college fund for the kids or something...whatever. To each one's own.
I would wear a coke bottle safety cap for a wedding ring if my wife would let me...
I agree. When an ex boyfriend said he was going to spend 2000 dollars on my engagement ring I said "save up and buy a dishwasher"
If I have an engagement ring(I might get Indian bangles. lol) it'll be a simple gold band, and it will be the same as my wedding ring.
In my ring, about $500 was to have the families' gold melted down, the rest was the stone and the labor.
At my work and among my friends, 2K is nothing. People who make a lot less--a whole lot less--buy a whole lot more ring than that. Sadly, it's the norm today.
I'm allergic to jewelry all together, so since I can't even wear a ring (which is fine, I don't need a ring to state that I love someone) does that mean I'm not symbolic? Ha.
Also, 2k is WAY too much money to spend on any damn jewelry. For someone boasting about the cost, and un-originality of money spent on diamonds, sure did out do themselves on the price of a non-diamond ring. How about paying way too much for any jewelry being overrated?
Although I have problems with the ethical aspects of diamond rings, my fiancee bought me one when he proposed, and it was just over $300. Its simple, beautiful, and I would have it no other way. He knows what I like, picked out the design and cut, and kept it simple. 30 years from now, I'm still going to love this ring because it doesn't look like a gigantic rock that weighs my finger down, and I think the fact that you love it, and him is more important than price or 'social status'.
My wife's engagement ring was around 2k and that still feels like a lot to me. The typical cost one should consider is no more than one month's salary because diamonds don't have the value you purchase them at. The jewelry stores today tell you three months, or one quarter of your annual income, is standard. I can't imagine spending that much on a ring for my wife. To each their own on the whole ring subject.
I'm not engaged, but the first thing I want to ask women who shove diamonds in my face is whether it is a blood diamond.
You've been tagged!
Exchanging rings or other symbols in marriage is fine, but always keep in mind that the "industry" always tries to guilt you into something. In this case it's the diamond industry. Diamond engagement rings didn't get popular until the later half of this century, and were pushed in agreements with the major movie studios combined with a good blitz campaign to make a diamond engagement ring the norm.
Now that they got most everyone indoctrinated so that no man who loves his future fiance would spend less than 1-2 months salary on an engagement ring, they've moved on to the ten year band and trying to make that a norm. Still, they are an industry and are just trying to create a need, and everyone out there should be aware of that.
As always, you need to decide between you and yours what is important and not important including the engagement ring. If a piece of jewelry is within your gift budget, nothing wrong with buying something like that if you want, diamond or no.
Finally, to those who say diamonds are bland or look like cut glass, I'm wondering if they have ever seen a high quality stone. They reflect light like a prism and are quite brilliant and unlike softer stones, will keep that brilliance through the years. I just don't feel they're worth the cost of a small car.
For some people it definitely seems like a status symbol. It should be about love and happiness. Micah knows I like sparkly things (I love the way my ring sparkles) but he also knew that I didn't want a new one (my idea is redeeming the diamond if it was a blood one). So he got me a remade ring. Worked nicely.
I think diamond rings, thanks to DeBeers' advertising, have become a unique symbol of an engagement or an ongoing romantic marriage. As most have learned, this association with romance WAS manufactured by DeBeers and has little to do with tradition or anything else. Diamonds are beautiful, but so are fur coats and Rolls Royces. If you need the symbolism, well, good luck. Otherwise, individuality and creativity RULE!
Hee hee,
What a great photo. It looks as if you have bananas growing out of your head.
LOL
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