Today I went to lunch with a woman I respect a great deal. She is one of the savviest busineswomen in the city. She dresses well, speaks well, vacations well, lives well, and has three kids, one severely disabled. She's a community leader and knows everyone. She is INCREDIBLE. She is probably the only person I know who actually managed to have it all. You know, having it all, that elusive womens' goal. At one point we were very close, and she persuaded me to enter my industry. She's the closest thing to a mentor I have. Her contacts were a great help to me.
We talked a long time about careers and lots of things, and it was great. Then she asked me if I was buying a house. I was humiliated. I have a very modest old townhouse I rent at below market. This place is a steal, but it's not the nicest place. Compared to my co-workers, it's very modest. Compared to cheaper neighborhoods, it's really small and old. I extended my lease a while back until September 2009, long after the wedding so that we could deal with moving, rental or buying. Compared to one of the richest women in the city, I felt like a total loser.
I told my mentor that I was in no hurry to buy. I said houses were not going anywhere. The local housing market is flat to slightly growing. No bubbles here. I also said that I had no idea how much money we were going to make now that fiance is self-employed. As I was saying it, it felt like a cop-out excuse. But it really is not.
For me to buy a house without constant insomnia, I need to know that if I lost my job, we could still afford the house. Right now, I can say that only for our $1500 rent. For a few months, fiance lost money. Last month, he made a lot more than me. His business had some start-up costs, and he is still growing. He needs at least until the 2009 wedding to see what he is capable of. Assuming an employee or two, the sky is the limit for his business.
I would hate to settle for a house when we could have done much better. I would also hate to everextend and lose everything. So, we are taking our time.
Friday, August 15, 2008
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7 comments:
Based on your description of your mentor - she is wise to this logic. You don't get to that position by making the wrong moves in drastic proportion.
Instead of feeling the "total loser" part, you should have recognized how "successful" this decision makes you appears. Good judgment is an asset in a successful person and you are showing your colors!
I agree - don't feel like a loser, you're just being cautious which is good. My BF is buying a condo right now which is a little scary and I'm worried he could have waited a little longer and saved more but condos are slightly different than taking on house maintenance. Anyway you've got the wedding to concentrate on for now.
Wanting to buy a house in a year or two is a goal to keep in mind when you're tempted to spend money on expensive cars or trips or clothes. Just think about how that money could get you into a nicer house in a couple years.
Barb1954
I bought my first house at age 26. It worked out well for me. But I can tell you of any number of my friends for whom it did not work out. And, in particular, I can point to several divorced mothers who were desperate to hang onto their homes, usually to their detriment in their settlements. Homeowning is a fine goal, but I worry about the rush some folks are in to get to it. Or the desire to hang onto home ownership even when it makes no financial sense.
What industry do you work in?
Being able to sleep well is more important than a home.
You are showing your young age and fiscal irresponsibility. Quit trying to compare yourself to your coworkers and people who you think have money. You get that way be being frugal, no matter how much money you make. If you want a house, start saving up for a downpayment. It's called prioritizing.
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