This steaming pile of negativity, I'll Take Jealousy for $100, was a baffling editor's pick at this week's Carnival of Personal Finance. It's about entrepeneurs.I get entrepeneurs. I started and sold my own business in grad school. Fiance started his own business this year that can only be described as thriving.
This post has some dubious, self-centered insight. This author seems to think that everyone (1) believes her home business will fail and/or (2) doesn't "acknowledge" her business and/or (3) is jealous of her home business . This, she says, is "one of the biggest hinderances we face." WHA?
"You'll never make it." " How you gonna make money?" First, most of these questions are honest, logistical inquiries. It's peculiar to have a business plan and an accountant and a driving log. You have to be pretty insecure to interpret those as hostile (not much of a stretch in that article!). As for outright hostile, I can barely remember those comments. You know what, there were A LOT for my aggressive, very risky business. They didn't register emotionally then, they don't now. (Men are much better at filtering this, I speculate.) Entrepeneurs have to be optimistic. If some paycheck idiot really can make you "second-guess" your business, you need to go back to a paycheck, honey. If someone who actually knows what they're doing slams you, it's time to pause. Doubt is good.
She seems upset that people don't "acknowledge I have my own business." Huh? What does it mean to "acknowledge" a business? I don't greet Uncle Jim at Thanksgiving by saying, "Good for you for making those commissions at your sales job!" I don't say to Auntie Jane, "Good for you for staying at home." I'm guessing what she wants is for one of the nay-sayers to eat crow. Good luck. Hate to break it to you, but they forgot they said it. Oh, and they don't really care if you make money. And they don't really care how many hours you work. Oh, and if you are bragging about how awesome it is to work at home and how much money you are making, nobody wants to talk to you at all.
She paints an ominous picture that your "mom, husband, fiance, cousin, best friend, and auntie" will be jealous of your business. Hopefully, you talk to these people about more than your business. If they don't seem like "cheerleaders" or they just don't care (a strong majority), it's time to change the subject. Common sense. If they're true haters, you can never win. You either downplay your success or just not talk about it. Also common sense.
There are many legit "hinderances" in self-employment; this isn't one of them. As all adults know, people are haters no matter what you do. That's LIFE. You move on. You change the subject. You talk about the weather, about sports, about your new hair, about anything else! The world does not revolve around your business. It would be nice if everyone and their dog were thrilled for you, but they're not. That doesn't mean they're "jealous" of how awesome you are. It means they just don't care, and they are sick of hearing about your stupid business.
Update:
This article is in the Cyber Monday Carnival of Personal Finance!
6 comments:
Thanks for reviewing my post about jealousy. While you seem to only see me as that negatives I have mentioned, I merely wrote the post to express things that have happened to me in my career. It was also meant to acknowledge that these things do happen in real life.
I am proud of my accomplishments and obviously the negativity hasn't deterred me from moving on - as you so kindly advised. I do not brag but can't help notice your tagline includes "big salary". Good for you.
I wrote the post on a blog that deals with entrepreneurial tips, advice, and working mom material. So I guess that's how you deduced self-centeredness - but really far from it.
Thanks though for highlighting my post about how negative I am about my "stupid business". It means a lot and really proved my point well, I think.
Hear hear. I agree with what you said Dog.
I haven't read the post, but I did get a lot of skepticism that I could make it. But I did. And most of my friends are happy but some are just jealous. *shrug*
Dog, I agree with your post here.
It's not jealousy when people don't talk to other acquaintances and relatives about their businesses at parties. Let's be realistic here...the details of most people's businesses and jobs are not at all interesting to outsiders, unless you're Rachel Zoe and your business is dressing celebs for the Oscars. I know a lot of successful corporate lawyers, analysts, etc...they make good money, but their jobs aren't that interesting to strangers. It's not jealousy, just boredom.
As far as skepticism, I don't think that's jealousy either. I do think it might be a little tactless in some cases to be openly skeptical of people you just met or discouraging...but I suspect it comes from a realistic and well-meaning place, not a jealous one. Over half of small businesses in the US fail. Also, people are generally risk-averse and skeptical of any sort of career move during bad economic times when the news is constantly reminding us how hard it is to find a job.
Tisha, I think you are pretty negative and petty about it. Not everyone wants to hear about the business. My DH was talking about a business he wanted to start and I started to zone out.
NOT because I was jealous, but I was just not into listening.
And who really wants to bring up it might not succeed?
I thought this post would garner some dialogue, hence I included it as an Editor's Pick. I also thought a rant (good or otherwise) had a place in my aptly themed carnival ;) . Anyway, interesting exchange of ideas here.
But one thing to remember is that we don't really know what goes on in other people's lives, to trigger certain emotional posts.
lol... i c u have your fan club now.
most make blogging so much more rewarding
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