Not Sinking Anywhere: June Net Worth

The haters are not going to like this one! Even with the market in a tailspin (3K down for me, ouch!) and no business cash just yet, my net worth is still up almost 8 large. That's right, I'll be out of this in no time. Sorry, I'm not sinking anywhere.

I thought about writing a post defending my life against nasty anonymous comments and drama-queen titles. You know, how hard I work and what I accomplished and such. But rational arguments go nowhere with haters.

No biggie, I'm used to haters. I grew up poor too. I get it--they're bullies. Haters like to kick you when you're down and think that you should fail like they do. They laugh at your mistakes, they envy your success. A waste of human creativity, really. But without the haters in my life, I don't think I would be where I am today. I stumble; I fall flat on my face. But I always prove haters wrong, and I answer in actions, not words.

Talk About Expensive Bridesmaid Duties!

This auction just ended. Someone actually paid $5,700 to be a bridesmaid in a stranger's wedding. Yes, five THOUSAND seven hundred dollars. Wow.

That bride has some guts! And some creativity! Good for her, I am so impressed that she did what she needed to do. Judging from the comments, she got news coverage all over the country. Good for her!

The buyer, however, is a different story. Being a bridesmaid sucks. There is always drama, you always wear something hideous. Small mistakes run the risk of ruining her "special day." I will probably never be a bridesmaid again. I wouldn't have even had bridesmaids if there weren't so many toes that would be stepped on. My middle ground at my wedding will be paying for the dresses. The least I can do for this dubious honor.

There are already two similar auctions up. But those bids wouldn't even pay for the dress. As it should be.

Got My Wedding Dress!

Sometimes it all works out. I just got my wedding dress in the mail yesterday.

A couple months back, mom really wanted to go to a fancy bridal boutique. It had champagne and nice sofas, it was really a pleasant experience. Usually mom makes decisions based on price, this time, she didn't even look at tags. I'm sure it was nice for her. So, the third dress was "the one." It made my mom cry. The whole experience was incredible. If you are shopping for a dress, go with mom. But, it was the super-designer one that cost almost $3K. It was beautiful, as you would expect of a $3K piece of clothing.

There was another problem. For reasons I can't quite explain, I didn't want a big, white wedding dress. I wanted one from our culture. My parents are third-generation immigrants. But they only spoke English around me; they barely speak our language. They insisted that above all we fit in. We did things like a "normal" American family. But I wanted a traditional dress, not an American one. I knew that decision would break my mother's heart, after she tried so hard to be so American and loved that white dress so much. She wore a white dress, so did her mother. What did the traditional dress mean to her? I wasn't sure how to break it to her.

By some bizarre stroke of luck, the $3K dress came up on eBay (thanks eBay search alerts!). Used. Worn once (obviously). It was $300. I bought it for $350 with shipping and insurance. It is fantastic! I have it hanging beside me as I write this, and I am so glad I was able to buy it. There are a couple grass stains, but whatever. It is such a gorgeous dress. I love it.

So, now I have a big, white wedding dress for photos, and I can have a traditional dress for the reception. I can have both. The traditional dress will be much less. Both dresses with cost about $500! Yay! Everyone is happy!

How I Paid for $250K in School: Part 3

I worked my tail off in college. I worked at the pharmacy, I RA'ed. In the summers I took internships (paid, couldn't afford it otherwise) and worked a few shifts at nearby hospitals.

I got an online bank (Everbank) so that I could put money in and take it out no matter what state I was in. At the time, online banking seemed risky and strange. I usually had a few thou in there most of the time. I paid for all my expenses out of that and the student loans. (I ditched Everbank when it started charging fees.) I had a local bank account with a couple bucks in it so I could cash checks. My daily expenses were cash.

One financial incident sticks out in my mind. My meal plan was due, and I didn't have the cash. I think it was about 3K, and I only had 2K. I went to the meals director and explained that I worked hard, but I just didn't have the money. I was crying, more like bawling. He actually cut the price to 2K for me, and I wrote him a check on the spot. I think he just didn't know what else to do. It was one of the more humiliating things I have done.

At the end of college, I got my first credit card ($500 limit) to pay a bill that had to be paid online, I think it was my first cell phone (bought in 2003 or 2004). I paid the card off every month with a paper statement and a check (ha!). When I left college, I had 10K in the bank, enough that my loans were never in deferment, even in grad school.

My accounting was not great, but when I graduated from college, I had 50/50 private/public loans. They totaled about 100K.

How I Paid for $250K in School: Part 1
How I Paid for $250K in School: Part 2

Checking Up on the Debt

My retirement funds are doing great, but that is not what registers emotionally with me. What registers is the debt.

When I started calculating my net worth in September 2007, I had
$14,693 Car #1
$14,603 credit card debt
$6,400 loan from family

Yikes! That makes me cringe. Today I am credit card debt free, and the relative is long paid in full. I still can't believe I took a family loan. I was between jobs, things were rough. It was paid a month later, but it still makes me feel bad. I hope I never have to do that again. All of this debt is gone except $8,800 on Car #1.

Since then, I added
$30,302 Car #2
$18,350 Business

Adding all that up, I have had $84,348 in debt in roughly the last year. The debt is currently at $45,204, so I have paid off about 46% of my total debt.

I believe I can pay all of this off this year. Fiance's business is set up to rake in some cash shortly. Even with only currently signed contracts or no new customers, it will make 5K/month. Unless some big wedding expenses are due at the end of 2008 (possible), I believe I can be debt free this year.

Preparing For Victory

Starting your own business is really hard work. It's a huge undertaking. We knew it would be hard, but we had no idea how hard it would be exactly when you are responsible for you and anything else that needs to be done. More than anything, the business has taken time from both of us. We invested a huge amount at the front to sell the business.

So far, the business has spent $18,350. It has grossed $10,468. (Thanks, accountant!). I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Lots of shipping this week. Contracts were signed, checks are in the mail. Things are going well.

After all my hand-wringing about the business not making money, I think that is changing. I think the business is going to be solvent in the next week or two. Woo hoo! I'm so proud of the business. Making money doing what you love is a HUGE accomplishment, one that many people never see. We need to do something to celebrate it.

I asked Fiance what he wanted to do when the business made money. I expected him to suggest a fancy restaraunt or a gadget. Instead, Fiance said he wanted to take a little road trip to a kind-of close B&B. I thought that sounded lovely. So, hopefully, we'll be going on a little road trip in the next few weeks to mark and celebrate a momentous victory.

Peanut De-Tox

Today at work they sent around a strange email. A client is coming on Friday with a "very serious" peanut allergy.

This week, a conference room is a "Peanut-Free" zone, as are surrounding areas. They are calling in some sort of special cleaning service. We were asked to report if we had any peanuts at our desk so they could be "secured." Luckily, they didn't take my granola bars, as I am on a different floor. I know lots of (most?) schools are peanut-free, but policing adults in an office was just ugh.

I wonder how this client will even get here. (S)he will have to go outside at some point. This is Texas, so there's no subway or taxi or anything, but you still have to go in the parking garage at least. I don't know anything about this (potential?) client, so I have no idea what kind of work arrangement (s)he has. Maybe telecommuting. Maybe it's a peanut-free office. Maybe (s)he just has family money/business or something.

This client must have a lot to offer, or there's no way my company would do this. Long term, more peanut allergies are coming. I had never even heard of peanut allergies until I was in grad school. When all the peanut allergy kids grow up, at least they will have telecommuting options or even online businesses from home. Or, maybe they will demand change like this client.

Off the Clothes Wagon

On January 15, I joined Well-Heeled in her plan not to buy any clothes for six months. Five months later, I think I've done pretty well!

I slipped a bit at the beginning. (And there's no reasoning with brides about bridesmaid dresses.) I slipped in part because I didn't have solid basics, but also because this was really, really hard for me. I used to buy every fun jacket or pair of shoes I saw online without thinking. I spent a little here, a little there. Oh, and then there were the stupidly expensive clothes too.

Five months of (almost) no clothes buying later, I have decided to stop the project. The combination of scorchingly hot weather and the Neiman Marcus bi-annual sale resulted in a work outfit. Just one. One. And I thought it through and it was quality classics. I am so proud of this. So proud!

The clothes no-buy saved me a ton the last five months, but I think its effects will last longer than that. I now think about my clothes--a lot. I don't just buy it because it's on sale or I think I will fit into it 10 pounds from now.

The clothes no-buy has changed my relationship with my closet. I resisted temptation all these months. I even put in an alert in my calendar for when no-buy was up so I could go binge. Now that I'm off no-buy, and I can't even think of any shoes or bags I want. Just the one outfit. And that is a huge deal for me.

One Wish

Tonight in conversation with some friends, someone asked what you would wish for if you had one wish. It never got around to me, but my wish would be something about love or contentment or satisfaction or something profound.

One of my friends, a mid-20s retail manager, said he wished he never had to work again. That answer was strange to me. I guess because I really love my job, and I derive much of my identity from it. Without a job, it seems you would have this huge amount of time. Gaps.

I suppose you could accomplish things, maybe truly grand things, without having a "job", but I don't think that's what he meant. I think he meant umbrella drink never work again. I have always worked multiple jobs. I can't even wrap my brain around nothing to do. I'm not even sure retirement would work with my personality.

150K Got Me Nowhere

I don't think I realized how badly I was doing until I read Grace's post about coming up short on your goals. Six months after I started blogging, it's time to reflect.

I have been blogging about six months. When I started this blog, I was $30K in debt. When I set my 2008 goals shortly after that, I believed I was going to get out of debt and save for the wedding in 2008. I could see debt freedom on the horizon. I could taste it. Six months later (that would be now), I was supposed to be debt free and start socking away huge amounts of cash for the wedding. Then I was going to start saving all that cash for a down payment.

I had a net worth of 8K and 30K in debt six months ago; now it's 3K with 45K in debt. To show for it, we have a ridiculous garage of cars (with a lot of equity, at least), a business that hasn't made any money (with a lot of equipment and inventory, at least), and a fat retirement balance. True we traded credit cards for secured loans, but none of those things will pay the wedding caterer.

What happened? Fiance is obsessed with the iPhone released today. We spent $500 on a few wedding gifts. I got a personal trainer. We started eating organic food. We went out to eat a lot (lots of sushi). We picked up some bar tabs here or there. We went on vacation to Haiti. We hosted some BBQs and parties. We paid someone to clean our house. We paid someone to clean our clothes. We went to some concerts. I bought a ridiculous bridesmaid dress. He bought a new suit. The money just went. And so, it hurts me to say it. I am close to exactly where I started six months ago. That's just embarrasing when you make over 150K.

I feel really discouraged about this. I thought that I would make smart decisions when I started blogging, that I would magically have all the money saved up that all these PF bloggers seem to have. Instead, I don't think I'm doing that great. And there's really no one to blame but myself.

Update: This post is in the third anniversary version of the Carnival of Personal Finance. Congrats to the carnival for three years!

Personal Trainer: Finally Did It

It's nine months before my wedding, and I really want to lose 20 pounds that I put on sitting at my desk all the time.

I've tried all kinds of things. I bought a treadmill on Craigslist ($300), I tried running with the dog, I tried playing tennis. But, I am just not going to work out without accountability.

My company pays for us to work out at the gym next door. It's kind of a weird place because everything in logoed to match that building. There is also a subsidy on the trainers. So, I signed up.

$30/hour twice a week.

That'a a lot of cash really, but I have to do it. I guess I can scale down if I actually reach my goals or it seems too expensive. Or if I figure out how to work out without paying someone $30 so I have to show up. I don't even know if you tip personal trainers. I guess I'll have to figure all this out.

Choosing to Stay Home

Women have so many choices now, maybe too many choices, and it's hard to know which are right for whom. I have a friend who is a middle school teacher. She loves teaching and has a masters degree--she even won a couple teaching awards. Her husband is a salesman for a small company. He has been at the same job forever, watching everyone else get promoted. All he talks about is how much he hates his crummy job. Constantly.

Teacher Friend had a baby earlier in the school year. She took off maternity leave, and then went back to teach a few months. Today, she sent around an email that she would not be going back to teach next year. It was short, only a couple lines. A couple of very powerful lines.

I have no idea how they are going to make it. He can't make more than 40-50K, and he is not ambitious enough to get a better job. If he worked in my company, he would have been fired long ago. All of Teacher Friend's education and hard work, well I guess they'll still be paying for it. Luckily, they have a lot of support from family. All in-laws are close, and her parents are a 5 minute drive away. Her mother was taking care of the baby when she went back to work. If anyone could juggle working and a baby, it would be Teacher Friend. But I guess now their parents will provide financial assistance instead.

Teacher Friend's email made me sad. I try not to judge women too harshly for staying home, particularly if they can afford to. But in this case, it seems like they sacrificed the wrong career. All of her creative energy and spirit she spent teaching will now go to living frugally, I guess. I'm sure she'll be very good at that too, but there is a sadness in that. Life is choices. She made one and is obviously willing to sacrifice for it. So, I wish her luck in the new dream, but I also mourn her old, expensive dream.

Net Worth: May 08

Updated the net worth. We're back in the black at 3K with a 6K increase.

That's really pretty good considering that's all from my job this month and just a bit of frugality and (free) business meals. I went on a couple small trips for work. Somehow that always brings expenses down as well.

I wish I could be more proud of the 6K increase. Instead, I feel like we are starting at zero, that we just reached the zero net worth again. My new long term goal is to have $250K by 30. That gives us less than five years to make, well, 250K. Right now, it seems so far away: zero to 250. The goal of the house down payment, saving for retirement, and cash flowing the wedding. It seems like maybe I can't have it all.