It's pretty clear I won't be able to get a job in my old industry at all. I'll have to take a pay cut no matter what I scrounge up. So, it's time to face reality.
The pain of being laid off is a totally different issue from the implementation. It hurts in a way I still don't understand yet. A while back, I banged out this list of things we would cut if I got laid off. I wonder if those crap MSN money writers think like I did, in an easy mechanical way.
Actually cutting has been harder.
Things we have cut:
* dry cleaning (don't need)
* buying new clothes (so far)
* doggie daycare (started running with the dog)
* gym membership (no need to work out at lunch anymore)
* personal trainer (no gym membership)
* sushi. For now. This one really, really hurts me.
Things we kind of cut:
* bar tabs and alcohol, we are a shadow of our former selves.
* eating out. We really scaled back, ordered for leftovers. Big difference
* the maid. I scaled back the maid to every other week ($50/session). She's already paid for a couple months, so I'll see how this works and re-evaluate. Maybe monthly ($75/session) will be a better long term plan. It broke my heart to call her. I almost started crying.
Problems:
* the car. I want to sell the flashy car. Senor Dog doesn't. It's already paid for! He loves that car! He does have a point. I mean, it's paid for. This one will continue to be a toughie, I think. Also depends on our finances in a few months.
* the b word. Budget.
We don't have a budget, we never have. It didn't really matter when we had that much money. Whee! God, it sounds so carefree and luxurious, and it was! But now that we are on one very unpredictable, self-employment income and living off savings, we need to budget, and we to learn it now.
Getting laid off weeks into your new marriage is pretty suck. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. This will be really hard on both of us and our marriage. I'm not looking forward to the budget part, or the living on savings part, or the mooching off my husband part, or the begging for a job part. Suddenly, the world seems a lot uglier.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
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15 comments:
In regards to the car, I say keep it for now. Like you said, the joint is paid in full. If you need cash in the future you could probably sell it. But it isn't costing you anything (other than maintenance).
I also agree with keeping the car, but the maid has to go. Unless you've got 5,000 square feet you can clean yourself. I have a decent job and the thought of having a maid makes me gag.
Awww I totally am with you with the layoff sittuation.. though I was layed off.. I still say that I was fired. I mean.. either way- I won't be going into work at that company ever again..so who cares what they call it :)
I am on my 4th week of being unemployed. VERY VERY scary. Unemployment is enough to JUST cover the bills. Thank goodness.
Work is limited for what I do as well.. I work(ed) in commercial real estate.. which is basically down about 70% in my state. Cool.
Goodluck!!! We both need a prayer!
I don't mean for this to sound as rude as it might come off - really, I don't... but I've read most of this entire blog and I can't shake the impression that it might be fictional.
Maybe the part about being hurt by having to forgo sushi and "ordering for leftovers" (as a sad and different change in lifestyle) is meant to be funny, and I just didn't read the humor as obvious enough? I understand dry humor but there have been many other things in this blog that seemed like fiction (caricature artist at a wedding, for example.) It's less in the details and more in the emotions that the unrealistic feel comes through, though. I don't want to come up with examples because it might be a little hurtful and that's honestly not my goal. But really - has it struck no other readers here that there is a ring of... well, a disingenuous feel in many entries, or if not, maybe a kind of insensitivity and pomposity that is just foreign to many of us? I know I can't be the only one since I've ready many of the harsher and even deprecatory comments.
But assuming that it's not fiction, or playing along if it is... Why would you be completely unable to work in your industry? Is this field something you received schooling for? I don't understand why readers can't be let in on even a hint of what you or your husband do. Maybe just a degree or two more of "real-life" particulars would flesh out the blog and make it seem less like a parody or send-up. It could be that the high level of detail-security combined with the airing of a lot of unattractive and even embarrassing attitudes is detracting from writing that readers could otherwise relate to or at least find authentic.
By the way, this comment is not meant to apply to this post specifically as much as the entire blog; it just happened to wind up here.
@Curious: No worries.
I try to be careful with details about my real-life identity after JW was outed and probably lost his job. Plus a couple crazies were trying to out me, comparing details about what happened at local companies!
So, I don't give out identifying details at all, ever. I don't apologize for that.
We ordered take out, and cheap takeout that we could eat leftover because I was in too much of a funk to cook. I think that should improve.
My entire industry is firing. For now, at least.
The caricature artists and all that wedding planning/gift/payment nonsense was true (I kind of wish it weren't). If it seems disingenuous, well, it's as close as it can be while very carefully protecting my anonymity.
I wouldn't cancel the gym membership. Working out is the last thing you want to cut back. The benefits, both mental and physical, far outweigh the costs.
I think running with the dog and cutting out daycare and the trainer is a great idea. It gets you some more bonding time (if you dog is anything like mine, it is thrilled for this change).
The other changes will take time. I am sorry you guys are having to deal with this right after your marriage - I can imagine that would be hard. But, never ever for a second think that you are mooching off of your husband. You guys are a team now, and this is how it works. Its not always pretty, but good solid marriages are strengthened through things like this. Without the hard times, you guys wouldnt have the depth and experience to realize how great the good times really are. I wish you guys the best of luck!
Dog,
My apologies for losing your job. You are now on a journey to finally understand the real values in life.
From one who has been through this before, my only advice is this: it is far, far better to voluntarily give up the 'extras' than have them forced upon you and taken away. There is a very good possibility that you may be out of work for a good year or so. Your saving grace is that you are still young.
Please cut your budget to the very bone. You don't need a gym membership (try YMCA's or local school gyms or just go out and walk), you do not need luxury car (even if paid for....can you afford to repair it should it break down? you can't sell a broken car. get rid of it and bank the cash money.) You most assuredly do not need a cleaning lady ever! That $50 may one day buy you a week's worth of groceries.
Cut your budget to the bare, bare bones. I mean it. That includes cable, cell, land lines, all utilities, entertainment.
I also recommend you learn how to make your own sushi. You can rent free DVD training videos at your library or search the web to learn how to do it.
It is far, far better to make these adjustments when you are strong, then several months from now when you are feeling quite vulnerable and from a position of weakness.
Before you spend ANY money, think first if you can get it cheaper, or best yet, for free.
Best of luck.
All my prayers.
It is really interesting to read that you don't have a budget. Between this supposedly being a PF blog and your husband having his own business, you really are admitting you don't have at least a general idea of where your money goes?
I too would cut off the maid, though there isn't much reason to cut out sushi entirely. Happy hour sushi, reverse happy hour, lunch specials - there are ways to get cheaper sushi. You have been willing not to get your most expensive stuff, but once or twice a month will probably not kill your non-existent budget at this point.
I do also agree with cutting the gym membership if it was a month to month thing with no penalties for cancellation. Easy to find ways of working out outside with more time.
I sympathize with the industry you trained being specialized, but no reason to get down about it. You are so young - look at your skill set and see where else you could apply your skills and knowledge. I work in oil and gas, but I could bring my skills to a variety of manufacturing facilities and do just as well with a small learning curve. I am also skilled in IT, though I prefer never to work in that field.
Your network should not be limited to just the field you trained in, so start talking to them!!
My husband was laid off a few weeks before we got married. It took him a year to get another job, which paid less. In the interim, we lived like he still had the job, and, five years later, we are still paying for that year. Please try to live within your current income; don't make the mistake we did.
Funny you mention marriage during this. Remember that part about for richer or poorer?
At least you're facing reality and making the cuts you may not want to make, but have to make. Keep the car, fire the maid, stop going out to the bar or eating out period. Time for a buget too.
How's your husband's business going though? Since you're going to have some time on your hands, maybe you can get more involved and help with that until your industry recovers. Now is the time to evaluate yourself to find your passion, not just another job.
I know it's scary, but you guys have good cash reserves and should be able to get by. Starting to budget might be hard, but I think your situation (that you have to cut back) might make it easier for you to judge the most important things.
As far as "mooching" off your husband goes, I understand the feeling and probably would feel somewhat the same way. However, you supported him when he quit his job to get his business off the ground without resenting him. You guys will be fine.
Hi Dog, sorry you got laid off! OMG... I went through that a 4 months ago but luckily a project came up the last minute. Don't let the feelings get to you, most of the people I know that have gottend laid off are now working at better companies with higher pay.
I am in Houston, what kind of car do you have? I am looking for a used luxury, maybe Acura, lexus or BMW. Send me a email on my blog.
Thanks
HS
I agree with weakonomist, keep the car but cut the maid altogether. I'm sure she's a very nice lady and all, but the thing is, you're not working at the moment. So, save the cash and clean up yourself. Since you're cutting the gym membership, cleaning will give you some further exercise and it may even give you the dedicated time to think about what's next for you - as opposed to sitting in front of the television, which a lot of my laid off friends have done.
I don't think it's a matter of begging for a job, either. You may have to temporarily take a pay cut if you can't get back into your current industry; however, it's only temporary. I think with your experience and background, you'll probably find a job quicker than you think, if you really apply yourself.
Good luck!
You know, you aren't really mooching off your husband; didn't the marriage say "now you are one"? It does take some time to think of yourselves as a unit and since your job vanished so soon after the wedding, you haven't had that time. But you really are there to take care of each other in both the good times and the not so good. Best wishes.
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