We spent the weekend at two homes, friends of friends.
One was a $5M mansion with an infiniti pool, Pacific northwest style stone, wood, and glass grounds, in the heart of the city. Guest house, speakers throughout, a/v like on Cribs, walk in wine storage. A pool full of models.
The other was a $1M townhouse with rainbow granite and fancy wood and a wall of glass looking on the skyline.
I believe that you become the kind of people you associate with. That's why I try to hang out with successful, driven people with similar goals to ours. But this was discouraging.
Going back to our 70s condo was really a let-down after that. Heck, our rent cost probably was the lawn and pool bill at that mansion. I don't really feel jealous, I feel inadequate. These guys are a lot older, I tell myself, but I start to think we'll never have breaks or successes like that. Besides, they have no kids, which is big savings right there.
I would really love a house like that. I wish I had a beautiful place to have friends over. I wish I didn't have cramped closets or crappy counters or a lousy lay-out with a teensy, seperate kitchen. I wish I were proud of my home.
I'll just say it out loud. I hope we can, someday, comfortably afford a $1M house.
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14 comments:
Careful, your social class is showing.
Ahh thats where it all starts - trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Its all downhill from there.
Compare yourself to NO ONE. If you keep comparing what you have or dont have with other people you will be in a constant state of disatisfaction. Its crazy if you think about it. Nothing wrong with having aspirations but where does it stop. That constant feeling of disatisfaction, where does it stop, am I going to compare my situation to warren buffett? Thats crazy. Why torment myself in that way.
The easiest way to not have these feelings is the measure your worth by something non-material.
Would you be happy if you were poor and living in rent controlled apartment with Senor Dog? (You don't have to be happy with the situation, in fact you should want better, but are you happy?)
If not, your priorities might be out of wack.
Give it another few months! $1 million dollar homes are getting better as the housing market is getting worse!
But buying such a home is just the first step--then you have to be able to afford the upkeep. Just ask some of those "extreme makeover" winners who have since given up on their newly-remodeled homes.
You're young; you've just married; you're starting out. My guess is neither of your friends started out in their fancy schmancy digs--houses like that take time as well as money.
Don't take this as snotty or mean because I don't mean it to be - not sure how it will come out in writing.
It seems, from your writing, that you equate success and happiness with stuff. Houses, cars, how much things cost. I'm not saying you're materialistic, just that this is what you write about.
Is it only stuff and wealth that makes you happy? Do you have goals and dreams that don't tie back to money or items?
Your friends might own fancy mansions worth millions, appear to be successful later in life, but are they really worth millions? Do you only define success based on wealth by what you can visually see in people? Maybe read "Millionaire Next Door" to give some insight into how average and simple most millionaires are. I don't think a million dollar house makes anyone happy. Money cannot buy happiness.
Give it a rest with the jealousy about money! Focus on you and your husband; you are always comparing yourself to other people. It shows your low self-esteem; you equate self-worth with material things and your net worth. I know this is a PF blog, but I never hear you talk about anything you do for fun that *doesn't* involve bottle service or visiting friends with $1M houses. The few times I do, it's about playing board games with your friends and how lame it is compared to your bottle service at clubs. L-A-M-E
I'm not sure I'd live like that even if I had $50 million in the bank. It's for show and sounds kind of impersonal. I mean, what features of these homes did you really love and wish you had because you'd use and enjoy the hell of them? Envy those things, and not just the general flash value.
For example, if I were loaded, I'd sink an olympic-size pool out back and would probably have a fancy canopy designed so I could swim as long as I wanted without fear of skin cancer. But I'd do that because of what I would get out of it. You wouldn't find some exotic aquarium or walk-in humidor in my home because those things don't matter to me. Am I making sense?
Boy there are a lot of haters. Sigh. Get over it people. You all want it too. Dog just admits it.
Or instead of a fancy home you want $1 million in the bank. It's all something.
Those houses sound gorgeous, dog. Soon you'll have your own house -- maybe not a million-dollar home, but certainly a step up from what you're got now.
The trick is to ensure that you're living your life honestly, and that you deserve & can afford whatever it is that you buy. None of these ridiculous amortization periods to hide the fact that you can't afford your own home.
We have friends who live in a $1M+ house. It's still small enough that everything still seems comfortable, cozy, convenient.
Walk-in wine storage = heaven. Sigh.
Of all the things you've written on this blog that scream 'new money', this is the best. Actually, no, not 'new money' - 'I think we are new money'.
This blog makes me laugh. You are so deluded you have no idea what a desperate social climber you come across as.
Do some people really never feel a sense of inadequacy or tinge of jealousy when they're with richer and more successful people? If so, good for them. But I agree with Jim - I wonder how leveraged these people are with respect to their mortgage?
I actually don't want a big fancy house, even if I had millions of dollars. I prefer more intimate spaces, big lavish houses make me uncomfortable. I want to be wealthy solely in terms of not having to work, I want to be free to pursue my own interests. I'm starting to realize that I can accomplish that much more easily when I downscale my lifestyle expectations. I once thought I wanted to be fantastically wealthy, now I realize I just want to be comfortable.
I have walk-in wine storage. It's my bottle shop. They store a whole bunch of different wines (beer and champers too!). I just walk in when I feel like a bottle and pay them. :) Why on earth would anyone need to store more than they can reasonably expect to drink in a couple of months??? Or more than a couple of bottles of fancy (aging) wine? Drink and enjoy!
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