Friday, July 10, 2009

Not Forced or Personal Responsibility

I can't stand it when people whine about things they control and pretend like they have no choices.

When you have cancer, you have no choice. When you get laid off with your whole department, you have no choice. When your house burns down, you have no choice. Most of the time, you control your own destiny.

This whiny post from Stew over at Gather Little By Little is one of the worst. Stew doesn't want his wife to work outside the home but they are "being forced into this decision simply because it makes good financial sense." Sorry, buddy, nobody forced you to do anything.

You could downgrade your home. You could get a better job or a second job. She could start an Etsy store from home or babysit some kids. You could move to a cheaper area. You could downgrade your lifestyle. Nobody forced you to do anything. If teaching preschool is what finally lets you actually save a little money and pay off your student and car loans, you could probably use a better job anyway.

The comments are very thoughtful and reflective on what seems to be a tough choice for many. But to pretend like it isn't a choice is just silly. Of course it's a choice. It's a choice you have to admit you control and just make it, like an adult.

11 comments:

444 said...

I agree with you about being unable to tolerate the whiners. This one really says it all to me. This reveals the real nature of their situation:

"The job will allow us to replace some household items that we have been “nursing” along for several months."

Oh, please. !

stackingpennies said...

Agreed, times 100.

I find posts debating whether or not the wife should work "outside the home" fascinating and frustrating, as people are always certain those making the other choice are wrong.

Not your point though. As you point out, it is 100% a choice.

R. May said...

I hate posts like that for the fact that I'm a single mom. I work or we don't eat.

I have little tolerance for people who complain about having to be a single income household (ie we can't afford daycare so spouse has to stay home not spouse is disabled or such)or dual income household.

No dudes you don't have to. Frankly even I could work from home thought that would be risky and unsmart given my specific circumstances.

This wouldn't be the first things I have a problem with from GLBL. Seems to be a general mentality.

Anonymous said...

Dog, you whine all the time about things that you can control. For example, you've been whining about your "friends" wedding for a couple of weeks now, and that's just silly.

Sallie's Niece said...

Good luck on the interview today Dog!

Anonymous said...

Haven't you been whining an awful lot lately about having to attend a destination wedding?

Sallie's Niece said...

I read the post and I agree with you, Dog. They 'have' to send their kids to private school or homeschool. Really? I am not knocking religious beliefs but plenty of people manage to teach their kids about religion while sending them to public school.

TeacHer said...

I agree that the post makes it sound like there are no other options out there for couples who need to improve their financial situations(which of course there are) but as someone who isn't married and doesn't have kids, I've never been faced with this type of decision before, so I don't really think it's fair to say that this blogger is being "whiny." My personal views about working mothers happen to be different from this blogger's - I think it's healthy for kids to have a mom that has a life outside of her kids/home - but clearly they are making a difficult choice that goes against what they really value. Basically, I just don't think you can judge someone until you've walked in their shoes.

I actually thought that the worst part of the post was when he complained about having to do more around the house. Come on!

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

You are going to love a post I have coming up.

Agreed x 100!!

Anonymous said...

Your blog has been a real downer lately - which is sad because you're a great writer. I think it's petty for you to call out another blog. You don't HAVE to work for a horrible company that pays six figures, but you insist on working for places like that. Why don't you go get a job that pays $50K where they treat you better? Like you say, you're not forced to take that $150K job.

Living Almost Large said...

At the end of the day it's always about choice. Choosing to work or not.

I am not a mom so I wouldn't know, but seriously it's not about the money. And if the guy doesn't get that then something is wrong.