The local channels have been running heartbreaking commercials.
Over half -- OVER HALF -- the kids in the local school district qualify for free school lunches. The commercial says this is probably their only nutritious meal during the school year, so there's some sort of giant bureaucratic thing to give them lunch during the summer. The commercials say you should help in some mysterious way.
Holey moley -- over half?!?!?!
This is just sad, but seriously -- How can these people afford kids? How sad is it that over half the parents in our (public) schools can't afford, say, $40/month to feed their kids lunch. The pound where I got my dog wouldn't even give you a dog if that were true. You sure as heck wouldn't make it through adoption.
I feel like Senor Dog and I can't afford kids because we only have COBRA (though I guess they have government insurance), we can't afford private school and daycare, we sure can't afford a Chinese tutor. I can't even imagine being responsible for a kid when you can't even afford to feed her. Sad.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
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22 comments:
Why would children raised in the United States need a Chinese tutor? If you want them to be able to speak to their elderly relatives in the grandparents native language, you should know the language well enough yourselves to teach them at home. If you don't, the need for it seems pretty slim.
Someone once told me that kids are as expensive as you make them. Not being able to afford private school and fancy tutors doesn't mean you can't have children, but not having the means to provide the basics is a scary place. We struggle with that too - we won't have them until we're in a better financial situation either, but I don't think we're waiting until we can afford summer trips to Europe either.
Barb--assuming Dog means she and the Senor might adopt a child from China, it is of great importance that she maintain cultural ties, of which language is one of the greatest. The "need" is what a transracial child needs, emotionally as well as physically, and I, for one, am glad that Dog recognizes that need.
About those summer lunch programs--last summer, when I had my grandkids, the free lunches were available to all commers under 18 in the local parks. I took my grandkids (for the lunch, but also for the activity programs that were included). What saddened me were all the kids who brought their free lunches back to picnic tables and shared them with their parents. There is so much more hunger in this country than one would expect.
@ Barb. Very American comment. Yea, most Americans don't have passports either, but mine will.
Grace, perhaps I misunderstood. I thought the Chinese tutor was for the kids and not Mr. & Mrs. Dog.
Dog, as a passport-carrying American, I can only say that your blog posts are never as clear as you think they are. Many of the things that you might mean to say never make it from your head to the "page."
As the commenter after me stated, children are only as expensive as you make them. Children need love, food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, and education. They don't need passports, a second language, or matching silverware to flourish in life. Those things are extras. If you want to have a child or adopt a child when you can afford to do so, don't let extravagent ideas about what really children need stand in your way.
Whoops - typo in my "name" in previous post.
Barb and Grace,
I believe that the Chinese-language-tutor reference (as evidenced by Dog's comment above) did not have anything to do with elderly relatives or even cultural (or biological) heritage (though I could be wrong); my take was that she believe raising children is possibly not worth doing if it can't be done with all the trimmings of the upper-middle-class over-educated set such as foreign language tutoring and summer trips to Europe (thanks, negative net worth, I think that's exactly what she was getting at.)
I think the school lunch mention was meant to contrast how not-financially-together many families with children are are vs. the fact that Dog is educated, financially secure (or on her way), as is her extended family, and that she wants more for her future children than she observes the children of the poor receiving in the way of guidance and support.
In case you want to know, Dog, why there are so many people (in a select area - this is not representative of the entire U.S. and I'm sure you know that - this exists in pockets) who are so downtrodden that their kids are being fed by the U.S.D.A. virtually 24/7, good question - and you opened a big can of worms. It's a complex issue that has to do with (just to name a few, and not in any order of prevailing influence) advantages you have had that they have not, social factors, drug addiction and/or serious mental health issues, intellectual disadvantage, personal misfortune, ambition/confidence issues, health problems, and cultural issues. For the record, I am also a little appalled, shocked, and saddened by the sheer number of people (entire zip codes qualify for free summer meals at the local school when a certain threshhold percentage of the children qualify) who apparently need so much help in such basics as feeding their kids. When, presumably, they are already on food stamps, and I have been privy to the information that full food stamp coverage provides for more food than a family should buy/consume - which begs the question of whether the family can't afford summer breakfasts/lunches (do they serve dinner too? I would not be surprised) or whether no one is home/awake to care for the children or whether the food stamp benefit has already been fenced.
In our wealthy school district that has its pockets of disadvantaged people, we are asked by the schools at the beginning of each school year to contribute to the purchasing of pencils for children who cannot afford them, and I have trouble fathoming people functioning with custody of their children who cannot buy an .89 pack of pencils on the first day of school. I tend to think this population does not represent a few individuals going through unique and temporary hardships, but rather, an entire strata of society that is constantly reliant on aid for everything from housing to food to subsidized school supplies. I'm sure their problems are far larger than being unable (or possibly unmotivated) to buy pencils and it's a depressing picture, indeed.
444--I enjoyed your response, but your knowledge of foodstamps is woefully inadequate. First, a level of "basic food costs" is determined, and then food stamps cover a percentage--never 100%--of that. I don't know anyone on foodstamps who doesn't run out by the end of the month. Ask around about agencies providing food boxes, and you'll discover the truth.
Barb--I may have misunderstood Dog. I don't know.
Chinese lessons was just an example. You could replace it with music lessons or test prep or all the other expensive stuff it takes to give a kid all the opportunities you can.
It feels weird to worry about things like that when so many kids nearby worry about food. Sad.
Grace,
Maybe food stamps and their rate of issue have changed in the last eight years. Back then, I knew a single mom with three children under 9 years old, and the amount given to her was just over $500 per month. (I assumed that was the maximum for that time, around 2001, because it sure seemed like a lot.) That's a lot of food dollars for an adult and a school-age kid and toddlers who eat like... well, toddlers. Perhaps it had to do with tiny children being given an allotment at the same rate as if her kids had all been 17-year-olds (I always wondered how they would have done if the kids had been nearly grown and therefore would eat more), but she had trouble using up the food money and had to buy pricey stuff they wouldn't normally buy and didn't always consume just to use up the benefit.
I work in a school setting in a somewhat urban area and the kids get free breakfast, and also a lot get free lunch. Now that summer session is in they get both free breakfast and lunch, and I do agree its sad that this is sometimes the only time these kids can have something to eat!
I suggest you read the book "The Working Poor," by David K. Shipler, for a better understanding of these problems.
Food stamps only go so far. Many people who live on the edge of poverty live in lousy rental properties where the refrigerator or store work intermittently and the landlord doesn't care. If rodents are a problem, good luck keeping the basics of rice and potatoes on hand. Some kids have to move in with extended family or the parent's friend's family, and the adults and kids are all competing for the same food supply or eating another family's food. And just go to any grocery store in an affluent part of a city, check out the produce options, and then drive a mile or two to a much poorer neighborhood and walk around the produce section; be sure to look at the expiration dates on dairy products too. Grocery quality discrepancy is a real problem. Finally, someone has to be home to cook the food; not all jobs are 9 to 5. So summer breakfasts and lunches go a long way for comparatively little money.
I don't particularly think you're directing that toward me, Ellen (probably toward Dog), but I've already read that entire book. (Check my blog book list!) I was going to suggest the same for Dog if she'd like some informative reading. You seem to be fairly interested in sociology, Dog.
Also, "Nickeled and Dimed," by Barbara Ehrenreich
and "The Missing Class: Portraits of the Near-Poor in America" by Katherine Newman and Victor Tan Chen.
These last two are probably smoother reads ("The Working Poor" seems like a bunch of really long sub-books.)
I don't understand. How could all these people be hungry and starving and also at the same time, could America be named as having the most obese people on the planet? Most kids today have diabetes because they're so fat. Probably eating all that free government crap, huh?
I thought we all had to learn Chinese (Mandarin) anyway because the way the Feds are spending money, eventually the Chinese will call their notes, and once America defaults, the Chinese will take over. That's what I thought Dog meant.
Sally Ann
It is terribly sad that a lot of parents aren't able to adequately provide for their kids basic needs, but I'm glad that there are programs where children can get meals.
Having to pay for music, art, dance lessons, the SATS and college application fees are not something every parent can afford to do. It doesn't mean that they don't love their kids, or that they don't deserve to have them. Some parents fall into hard times well down the road. My family was well to do, before my parents divorced. Although we received child support, and were well taken care of, we still had to buy our clothes at Goodwill, eat reduced price school lunches and get fee waivers for AP tests. But my mom made sure that I was able to take dance lessons, my sister took music lessons and my brother took art classes and did sports. She had to make sacrifices in order for us to do this, which I resented at the time, but am grateful for now. As long as your kids are loved and their basic needs met (whether by eating mac and cheese at home, or lunches at school), that's all that matters.
If everyone waited to have children until they could afford it then most people would never have children. Especially if they were waiting until they can afford private school, daycare and lessons(whatever kind of lesson that may be) etc. Reality is, Dog, you can afford to have/adopt children right now. Even without a job, your husband still makes a lot more than most people (how many people actually even pay 8K a year in taxes and you are paying 8K a quarter!) I am also curious as to why you think your kids need private school and all these luxurious things? Did you not have those things growing up and think your children need them or did you have those things growing up and they were important to you?
As for the free lunches, I have no idea what the income level cutoff is so I can't really comment. Yes, it is very sad that 1/2 of the children get free meals but what does that mean? That they are all really living in poverty or just below some standard that the government sets?
A side note to free school meals:
After teaching five years my daughter will be able to have up to $17,500 of her student loan foregiven because she teaches science at our local high school which has over 40 percent of students who qualify for free meals. I know that the school administrators really try to get all kids to turn in the yearly form that qualifies them for free meals. I don't know if the school gets anything more than federal help to pay for the meals but I remember the elementary school giving the kids a reward if they had 100 percent of the forms turned in, whether they qualified or not.
@ 444 I couldn't have enumerated the reasons better myself.
It isn't a matter of "Why did these people have children?"
Items to think about:
-most people on welfare are white, single mothers.
- many military families qualify for free and reduced meals.
Here are the income guidlines if you are interested.
http://www.fns.usda.gov/cnd/Governance/notices/iegs/IEGs09-10.pdf
For a family of two it works out to someone making 12.96/hr or well above minimum wage.
Someone has to do all those jobs that don't require a college education.
R. May: I'm glad you liked my list; I tried to be comprehensive to the best of my understanding. I didn't expand on any of them, though, and I think my tone may (possibly) have conveyed that I have a bleeding heart for all of the people in question. Actually, I do for some but I don't for all of them. I have enough knowledge of the demographic to have a poor opinion of some of the value systems inherent to certain social classes and cultural groups that predispose people within these groups to poor personal and economic functioning in society. That's all I'm going to say. No one would really want to read essays based on some of the opinions and beliefs I hold and observations, so I spare everyone (for the most part!). :oD
Backtracking again on a comment that was elitist and insensitive after someone calls you on it. You know you meant you want to have brand name kids that you can brag about having chinese tutors and summers abroad.
@ anonymous: there is NOTHING wrong with wanting the best for your children. I refuse to have children until I can afford to send them to private schools (the public education system in California is awful), afford to pay for any and all lessons they want, and be able to take them on vacations. We don't need to travel first class to Europe every summer, but I want my kids to have the experiences my family wasn't able to provide for me. What's so terrible about that?
Hey Barb1954: I don't speak Korean well enough to teach my children or communicate correctly to my other family. My parents tolerate my crappy language skills because they could not afford to send me to language school.
I am offended by your comment because when you watch a parent lose their language skills to Alzheimer's, stroke or general senility, it can be very, very ugly. Even the translators the hospitals hire are relatively incompetent for trying to get good medical care.
Don't presume to think that the 'need for it seems pretty slim' till you start having to take care of someone with zero English skills left in their brain.
At any rate, I think Dog meant hiring any specialized tutor for her future children and not specifically Chinese. [Insert language of choice] tutor is all she meant.
*******
As for *public assistance*, the benefit for food stamps is very small and you cannot afford to buy actual produce with what is left. If a woman has small children, WIC will generally cover a large portion of their basic dietary needs, but if the kids are school age, the family will not receive WIC and will have to make do on what little public assistance they can get. In VA, a woman with a small baby gets about $350 a month. From that she will pay $5 week for subsidized day care. 30% will go into transitional housing for the month. If you are keeping track, she is now down to $225 with which she will either be paying for car insurance/maintenance, gas, or public transport. How will she keep the lights on or buy soap which you can't buy with food stamps?
um, I just deleted some stuff I was going to write about terminating pregnancies and the costs/legal difficulties to do that, but I'll just shut up now.
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