Comments on Dog Ate My Finances: Losing Faith in People

It is purely your choice to be optimistic or not. ...

2009-10-25T10:43:19.213-07:00

It is purely your choice to be optimistic or not. I have had plenty of crappy things happen to me, and still maintain that most people want to treat others the way they want to be treated.

And I still think you are carrying on far too much about your real estate "bruise". I find it very difficult to understand someone who was involved in big financial transactions at your powerful, high paying job can be so hurt by one bad deal.

You were so happy in your condo and now you are so disgusted with your surroundings that you are clinging to the thought of getting out as fast as possible. You need to learn to be more flexible. I am surprised that your husband's business hasn't taught you at least some of that.

I spent some time deciding just how to respond to ...

2009-10-25T10:16:27.474-07:00

I spent some time deciding just how to respond to your post. I love how you put yourself and your feelings out there, but sometimes I despair for your incredible naivete. Welcome, Dog, to the real world--the world that poor and working class people inhabit on a daily basis. Did you really never see it while earning six figures? Did you really think everyone lived the life you lived and saw the world the way you saw it? Didn't you ever read newspapers? Watch TV news? Talk with the lower class folks working in your office?

Now that you're working for a non-profit, you are exposed to the kind of meanness that pervades daily life for the poor. But haven't you also seen the bravery, the intelligence, the struggle in which so many engage--not just those of us trying to ameliorate poverty, but our clients as well? I went to an awards luncheon the other day and ran into a longtime Native American client. Her life is still as chaotic as it ever was, but her son (who I first met at age 15) is in his first year of law school. She's no longer an addict, but she's still poor and still has lousy taste in men. OTOH, she has taken a ton of parenting classes, worked with Native American youth, and is, in general, doing better, if not as well as I would have hoped. She may not make it, but once I would have said that her children were hopeless as well. Not true. Along the way, we all helped her get enough on track to save her kids if not herself.

I recognize that your blog is only a small snapsho...

2009-10-23T17:45:17.250-07:00

I recognize that your blog is only a small snapshot of who 'dog' really is. What you put here are things you would like to share, opportunities to vent etc. Not necessarily all of who you are.

Based purely on the posts alone, I would respectfully disagree that you are an optimistic person. The snapshots your posts show someone who until recently, lived in a small, well paying glass house with limited contact with the full spectrum of what reality in America really is.

I would agree with R.May's second paragraph comments.

I am hoping that your experiences in your new job give you the chance to see more of what regular people can experience.

I understand what you mean. I am an optimistic, g...

2009-10-23T15:07:59.671-07:00

I understand what you mean. I am an optimistic, glass-is-half-full, always look for the best in people until they show me otherwise kind of girl. However, I have a niece who is just the opposite due to her job. She's a child psychiatrist and sees the worst in parental behavior as well as the crazy minds of some hospitalized adolescents and teenagers. So she always believes the worst of people until they prove themselves trustworthy. (It's made her very protective of her children.) It's probably the same reason that cops can be cynical. When you're exposed to the worst of human behavior on a regular basis, it changes the way you seen the world.

You have to remember you and your coworkers are sh...

2009-10-23T14:01:19.742-07:00

You have to remember you and your coworkers are shining examples of the good in people. Keep your head up!

I'm sorry, but YOU are a prime example of what is ...

2009-10-23T12:12:48.894-07:00

I'm sorry, but YOU are a prime example of what is wrong with the world. If your only interest in your job is to make gobs of money not to help people, you need to find something else to do and stop wasting other people's time. Money is nice, and very necessary, but shouldn't helping people be its own reward? You need to get some perspective.

You've experienced a lot of change this year, whic...

2009-10-23T12:00:52.910-07:00

You've experienced a lot of change this year, which can be difficult for most people. I don't know what it is about this post, but it makes my heart hurt for you. I think you should see a therapist to help you manage some of the issues you've been struggling with lately. Mankind is still the same, you're just growing up and experiencing life. I hope you feel better and regain your confidence soon. {{hugs}}

It's hard for any of us to comment when we don't k...

2009-10-23T10:29:29.551-07:00

It's hard for any of us to comment when we don't know anything about what kind of job you do. Could you really "out" yourself by letting us know what sector you work in? Social services? Government social services? WIC? A homeless shelter? The health department? We have to guess. And then you have not given examples of what people have done to you.

I live in (or rather near) a city known for being an armpit of crime and everything else negative. Last week I took a wrong turn and was mildly lost; I was heading into the "wrong" part of town, although really, it looked pretty good and normal to me. I do not easily become afraid in any part of town under any circumstances. I think the "bad guys" in any part of town give the place a bad name and there are a hundred good guys for each sadsack making people afraid. Anyway, at a red light I rolled down my window and a gentleman in the next car (who, putting it frankly, was in a racial group probably wrongly stereotyped as being more likely to be criminal; I won't debate that because I think crime is equal-opportunity but in our city, the statistics sort of do speak for themselves... that has to do with complicated economic factors, though, of course - the subject for sociological papers outside the scope of this lil' post.) Keep in mind that in reference to what I just said, I still think that any individual, regardless of race or any other factor, is far more likely to be a good, upstanding person than not.

He tripped over himself trying to help me get back to where I meant to be. He wanted nothing more than to help. Then he told me to have a great day. This is in keeping with my belief that most people are good - the salt of the earth - as good as the best people you and I know.

My husband also had a car breakdown in an even worse part of town - let me just say if you know about scary urban decaying neighborhoods, they don't get much scarier than this one. I am quite sure no one even want to live there - yet most of the residents - again - good people!

Same story... gentleman tried to do everything in his power, offered Mr. 444 use of his phone, offered for him to come in and have something to eat or drink.

I don't share your disillusionment with the human race. I think the overwhelming majority of people are beyond decent. I think it's just human nature that most of us care about our fellow human beings and want to help.

I hate to break this to you, but you spout some se...

2009-10-23T10:10:30.235-07:00

I hate to break this to you, but you spout some serious nastiness yourself.

Perhaps go back through your posts and see how many times you essentially insult individuals and sometimes entire classes of people.

Some of the 'trolls' are nasty but most are really just pointing out how what you've written comes across. If you just want everyone to agree with you then stop allowing comments.

I don't understand the troll thing anyway. Posting as Anonymous or posting with a name....we're all still anonymous. You may be 'dog' but we still have no idea who you are.